Migraines, Menopause and Moaning

So I am about to talk about a subject that I am not meant to talk about in polite conversation.  So be warned.

I am approaching the end of my fertilely productive life and I am not having a good time at all.

Now as women there are different periods in our life that our body does its’ thing.  And every woman can experience these times differently.

We may have sailed through adolescent, very sweetly and calmly, with nary a blemish, or a tummy pain – or we could have been a pimply, greasy, bitch from hell, lying on the couch with a hot water bottle.

Once we come through that, we then have to deal with the whole body image of big boobs, no boobs, big hips, no hips, blah, blah, damn me, isn’t it hard enough already!!!

We may have got pregnant as easily as sneezing, or endured years of trying, or losing babies, unexpected babies or even had to deal with the social stigma of choosing not to have babies. The emotional trauma of some of these are heart breaking, but something that we don’t talk about and usually privately just struggle through.

If we decide to have a baby, then we have to deal with social expectations of caesarean vs natural, drugs vs no drugs, home vs hospital, breastfeeding vs bottle, etc. etc. etc.  We have no right to judge any woman for her choices – we have no knowledge of the back story, the reasons and it is none of our business.  For example – some women cannot breastfeed, both physically and emotionally and so we have no right to judge.

By this point in our bodies life – it has gone through a lot.  And I am not exaggerating – for goodness sake, our pelvic bone breaks apart to give birth!!!  Bursting appendices have been ignored by women because they thought it was just normal period pain – NORMAL PAIN.

But then our body decides to throw us into further turmoil to keep us on our toes (or piss us off – depending on how you feel about it).

Now for some woman, the end of their fertile life is like a walk in the park – with maybe a few fleeting hot flushes. Personally and privately (because I have no right to judge – hahahaha), I bloody well hate these woman!

Some woman have to endure night sweats – enough that you have to change the sheets and PJ’s a couple of times a night (and no I am not exaggerating), cramping – bad enough that you end up curled in a ball on the floor, sobbing and rocking – they are lots of fun, trust me!! Also bloating, dry, itching skin, massive pimples, hair loss etc. etc.  But for me, it’s the migraines, bad mood and hot flushes – oh my, oh my!!

The term “hot flushes” is such an innocuous term.  Sounds like you just get a bit hot and need to fan yourself a bit.  No, my dears, it is much more dramatic than that.  I was all rugged up once, in the middle of January, on an outing with the family.  I was standing next to my brother-in-law and just started handing him all my clothes – I think he was seriously worried I would get down to my bra and knickers.  I nearly fainted and vomited, because it was so intense.  Poor boy, he didn’t know what was going on and asked if I had these regularly – I shocked him when I said “Oh yes, couple of times a day.”

The change in my mood – well honestly, let’s just say I am being very nasty and there is nothing I can do about it and poor Hubby is getting it in the neck.  I can only apologise – for some of it, but other bits of it, well they are things I have always wanted to say, so maybe this is a good opportunity to air them. Just saying…

20160818_144652Now the migraines, this is the one I struggle with.  This is a picture of me on the floor in Singapore airport.  I was travelling alone with my 2 children.  I had taken my tablets, that just didn’t kick in, so I bought the children some donuts, a fizzy drink and found a corner in front of a departure screen.  I showed them our flight and asked them to keep an eye on it and told them to wake me for any reason.  They are old enough now to be okay, but this picture was taken by my daughter and it makes me feel dreadful.  I was in no fit state to look after them and it is just not right.

After seeing that photo, I decided that I need to act. I am in the process of demanding more help from the medical profession – who had previously just fobbed me off saying – “oh yes it’s the menopause and you have to just get on with it.”  Well, I have tried just getting on with it and I am trying all the alternative therapies and I am tired of it all. Oh and guess what people this can last up to 10 years!!!  I am not going to exist like this for that long! And… And…. After all that, we have osteoporosis, brittle bones, and a whole lot of other health issues to deal with – insert swear word of your choice here!  No wonder I am cranky!

So I don’t want your sympathy, because I am not dying and I am going to get it sorted, but I do want us to be a bit more empathetic, understanding and caring of ourselves and other women in whatever stage of fertile life they/we are in. Because it can be damn hard and sometimes just not bloody fair!

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Going Home

australia

Miss me????

Sorry I haven’t written for awhile, been on a trip home to Australia, to see my family and friends and it was a busy, busy time.

It was lovely being home.  It is a beautiful, beautiful place.  We did some amazing things – cuddled Koalas, feed Kangaroos, went on a boat amongst very large crocodiles, went out to a coral island and swum above the coral and fish, ate lots of lovely food and especially amazing sweeties.

Do I miss it?  Yes, I do.  I miss the weather, I miss the beautiful rainforest and beach life.  I miss the amazing fresh food markets and open air restaurants.

But I also miss England when I am there.  England is also a very beautiful place and I am afraid Brisbane is never going to beat London.

Am I Australian – yes most definitely.  Am I British – yes most definitely.  Having spent most of my adult life in England, there are definitely parts of me that are very British.

So although it was great to go home, it was also great to come back home – if you get what I mean.

The thing that I found the most important about our trip – was the people.  I really didn’t care what we saw or did or ate – it was the people I was with that was the best bit about Australia.

It’s the people I miss the most – heartwrenchlingly.

I am so grateful to all my friends and family for going out of their way to house us, feed us, drive us around and entertain us.  It was fabulous.

I kind of wish I could create a little town, that had English springtimes and autumns, but Australian summers and winters.  English countryside with Australian beaches.  English TV but Australian restaurants. Australian fresh food but at English prices (Australia is a very expensive place!)  Australian wide roads but at English speeds. Australian friendliness but English politeness. You get the idea – I want a mix of both.

The most important thing that I would put in my town would be all my Australian friends and family and all my English friends and family.  Then I would be happy, then I could just pop in for a cuppa and a natter anytime I wanted.  We could have big get together BBQs in the Australian summer and then go around for cosy drinks by the fire in the English autumn.  Our kids would be lifelong friends, swimming at the Australian beaches together or rambling through the English countryside.

Then life would be perfect and then I wouldn’t miss everyone so much…..