Ah Mr Tonsillitis, haven’t seen you in a while. Since university, was it? Yes, I remember now, 4 times you came to visit me in the good old days. I remember spending weeks huddled under the bedclothes in a delirium of fever and a red raw throat. Goodness that was not far off 30 years ago. Where has the time gone?
I am so sorry I was not very welcoming when I realised it was you. In fact, I scared the children with my “WTF!!!!!!”, when it finally clicked. I thought you were just a cold at first, but I started getting all wobbly and achy and then I started to remember.
Now why have you come to visit again? I remember the doctor at university saying that it was because I was living a student’s life – too much drinking, not a very good diet, not enough sleep and too much stress.
Well I don’t drink as much; in fact, I think university put me off alcohol forever and I eat a lot better now. I still don’t get enough sleep and stress is a normal way of life isn’t it? But I haven’t had enough sleep for the last 13 years – I am a parent after all and stress is because I have bills to pay. So why, all of a sudden, are you back Mr Tonsillitis?
You see it was fine that you visited me in university because I had time to curl up under the bedclothes and just recover. I had a week, I had time, so much time. The doctor was even nice enough to write me a note so that my grades were not affected.
But visiting now is a bit different – you see in university nobody needed me. Now I cannot disappear under the bedclothes for a week. But oh, my I really, really wanted to and probably really, really needed to. Alas it was not to be.
I just kept going of course, whilst you were here Mr Tonsillitis. Work had to be done. No nice doctor to write me a note saying if I am not up to par, please forgive. School run had to be done – gosh thinking about it, I must have been even more dangerous on the roads than normal – ha ha ha ha!!! Dinner cooked, clothes washed etc. etc. etc.
So, although I appreciate your efforts to search me out after all these years Mr Tonsillitis, could I ask that you bugger off back to where you came from, because I don’t really like you and you are not very helpful and I just haven’t got the time to deal with you.
Come back when the kids have left home and I am retired. In fact, come back and visit the rest of the members of the house, because they seem to have the time to deal with you and maybe they will understand why Mummy/Wifey wasn’t functioning at the usual high level she normally does.