Giving Time to My Baby

hollyI have just had the loveliest weekend and all I had to do was spend a bit of time.

Hubby was away and my complicated little boy was in France on a school trip.  So it was just me and my baby girl.  And it was great.

It’s no secret that I find my little girl a bit demanding and sometimes I can get a bit cross and frustrated.

I decided and promised that we would use this free weekend to have a lovely girly time.  I said that we weren’t going to go out and spend money – which is her favourite thing to do, but just spend time at home doing things together.  She agreed.

We baked cupcakes, I helped her make a skirt on her sewing machine and we watched movies together.

Side note:  We watched Grease.

I didn’t think anything of it, as I had watched it at about her age.

She was horrified.

“Those boys are being nasty to other students.  That’s terrible!!!!”

“They are all smoking!!! And they are teenagers!!!  That’s terrible!!!”

“Are they making babies???  They shouldn’t, they are underage!!!!  That’s terrible!!!!”

“They are only allowed to dance boy and girl!!!! What happens if you want to dance girl and girl or boy and boy!!!! That’s terrible!!!!”

“She’s pregnant!!!  Didn’t she take precautions???? That’s terrible!!!!”

“Why does Sandy need to change???  He should like her for who she is!!!  That’s terrible!!!!”

I was very surprised and also extremely proud.  To think that for me at her age, all those things were accepted. But for her in her enlightened world those things are wrong and it gives me such hope and joy.

But the most important thing we did this weekend, was talk.  Well, she talked and I listened.

I didn’t judge, I didn’t offer advice and I didn’t belittle.  I just supported and listened and understood.  She loved it and so did I.

It is so hard to offer time, but it is so important.  And it is so hard to just listen, without commenting or criticising, but if I am to keep the communication lines open when adolescence really kicks in, then I need to listen lots.

She has cuddled up with me on the couch and she had given me hugs.  So I think she has enjoyed herself too.  And we have promised each other some more time soon.

 

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